LIFE IN AMOY

I had been meaning to write a post for awhile but felt like I didn’t have much to say. I realized it’s because we’ve fallen into our weekly routine- it’s amazing how quickly a foreign place can start to feel like your new normal and also how quickly you can go from actively observing or reflecting on the details of your days to just going about them. It’s like we’ve transitioned from a crazy trip and are now home (I use this term loosely). 

Our days are now scheduled, and even more so starting this past week as Julia began Chinese school in the mornings. Gabe leaves to catch the bus to work around 7, Julia and I walk to school at 8:30, I run errands or come home or go to a coffee shop to do work, pick up Julia at 11:15, eat lunch, then its nap time and more work/cleaning/etc, play, go to the store for dinner (if we’re cooking that night), Gabe comes home, dinner, bath time, bed, wake up and do it again. Of course there’s some variation in there, video calls with family, coffee or a walk with fellow expats (incredibly helpful and welcoming women from all over), dinner out with friends or ordering in from one of the hundreds of restaurants on our convenient food delivery phone app (although if we try somewhere new we have to order food based on tiny little thumbnail photos. It can be a bit of a crapshoot.) On many levels I welcome the routine as it feels good to be settled in this way, but when you’re in it so to speak, it’s easy to forget to stop and smell the roses. This blog has a been a good reminder to do just that.

Julia’s first week at a part time Chinese Montessori school. One staff person speaks some English. So far she loves it. There are four kids in Julia’s class – Sofia who is Iranian and Portuguese, Elijah who is Japanese and Tanta who is Russian – all in Chinese class. Best of luck to the teacher. 

A few photos of Gabe’s school. It’s quite the campus. They had an open house and picnic this weekend for parents, students, and teachers.

There’s this interesting push-pull or dichotomy that creeps into life here, where one minute I want something familiar and the next I’m curious and itching for the next new sight, food, or experience. The craving might come after a few failed attempts to communicate or when the heat gets to be too much, or when I’ve spent the day without in-person adult interaction (in English). Thankfully emails, messages and phone calls with loved ones back home, Western foods and some time spent with new friends are quick to satisfy. I can’t even begin to tell you how happy I was to visit a French bakery or how good a can of tuna tasted last week or how much we looked forward to our trip to Sam’s Club Sunday (it was the anticipation really, what culinary favorite from back home might we find? There weren’t as many as we hoped but a massive container of mixed nuts and frozen sockeye salmon were notable finds).  

On the flip side, there’s so much that we want to see and explore in the city, and each new experience or pleasant interaction (involving more than my pathetic repertoire of ok, hello, goodbye, thank you, and I don’t speak Chinese) is energizing and sometimes even reinvigorating, especially if it comes in a moment of frustration or exhaustion.  For example, the very sweet young woman who spoke just enough English to help me track down a taxi at 9 pm that was delivering a pressure cooker and salad spinner I bought from someone in a WeChat used goods group. I realize there’s a lot to unpack in that sentence. Or our first trip to the beach with the new teachers and families with whom we are forever bonded after our first week in China. Or venturing to the tiny, very local noodle shop that we’ve been hesitant to step foot in with our friend Wenhao from the convenience store. Or exploring a different part of the city or checking out a new park. And of course there’s always food. We love food.

There are a lot of these ups and much more to see and do, with I’m sure many stops along the way to satisfy those cravings for home.

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For a Chinese city of 3.5 plus million people, Xiamen has some nice green spaces and we’ve barely scratched the service. Huweishan Park’s perfectly manicured paths behind our apartment are a quiet refuge in the mornings, though there are some “regulars” playing badminton, doing tai chi and having tea. And Haiwan Park with its endless palm trees is close by and a nice place to walk. 

And lastly a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my brother Chris and also this…

The week was marked by a few F*** China kind of days (sorry, please excuse my language). Days where daily tasks proved more difficult and challenging than anticipated, and when most everything that’s different here was really annoying. I’m slowly learning, that at least for right now and probably for the next two years, there will be days like this. 

Monday was the day I decided to tackle the grocery store. We have finally acquired enough kitchen goods to start cooking at home. I miss cooking and have started perusing a few Chinese cooking expat blogs in an effort to learn more about the cuisine and to avoid overpriced Western groceries, so I had a small list of essential local ingredients to find. Well, navigating that grocery store became quite the challenge. There are multiple versions of everything and of course many items are unrecognizable. Every time I asked for something specific I was brought to the items I did not want. “Do you have pressure cookers that are NOT nonstick?” “Yes, here are pressure cookers with nonstick liners.” “How about soy sauce without MSG?” “Sure, here are about 100 different kinds of soy sauce with Chinese labels – by the way the majority of these do have MSG.” It took some perseverance, a lot of translating (which by the way isn’t always helpful – a ”no romping” sign at the pool and the “cowboy” setting on our washing machine are just two memorable translation fails), and abandoning a couple items on my list, but eventually we made it out. 

So after way too long and with a very tired Julia and three heavy tote bags in tow, I summoned a Didi. It’s a ten minute wait. That doesn’t sound like a long time, but when you’re used to a 3 minute wait max, it’s 90 degrees (feels like 110), and you only have two arms, it might as well be an hour. Well the Didi came, but it was on the other side of the road, a busy road that we couldn’t cross (which I couldn’t anyway because again I only have two arms). So I canceled and we waited ten minutes for the next one. It comes, on the other side of the road. Thankfully, the driver made a u-turn. 

Now looking back it wasn’t so bad, but in the moment I was bitter. And over the last week or so more of those moments where I’ve found myself irritable and impatient have come and gone. In addition to daily tasks being a bit more difficult, it’s oppressively hot and humid. In situations that may already be frustrating or time consuming, the heat doesn’t help. Too many times than I care to admit, I’ve become this visibly angry, sweaty foreigner walking down the street swearing under my breath, shooting daggers at anyone who dares to blatantly stare for what most in America would consider rude and far too long. 9 times out of 10 this embarrassing and ugly transformation occurs when I’m lugging Julia, the stroller, and whatever else up and over one of the many detestable pedestrian bridges to cross the street.  

All this is to say that I’ve come to the conclusion we will be staying indoors more often for the next month or two. Back home if it’s 0 degrees with a windchill of -30, I typically don’t venture out unless I have to. Well that’s my new approach to 90 degrees and over 60% humidity and while it has only been a few days, so far this shift has made life much more enjoyable. 

Now if I haven’t lost you yet (I wouldn’t blame you, that was a lengthy rant) and for the sake of acknowledging how grateful and ultimately happy we are to be in Xiamen, here are a few positive highlights from the week: 

LAMB! – Gabe’s school treated the entire staff to dinner out at a Middle Eastern restaurant (yeah, not a perk you’ll find in the public schools back home). Each table was served a massive platter of leg of lamb and rice. I’m salivating just thinking about it…

Julia’s new school – we found a Chinese Montessori school for Julia to attend in the mornings. If her full on sprint to the other kids when we walked through door is any indication, she’s going to be quite happy there.

New Chinese friends – Li Wenhao, the convenience store clerk who has taken to spoiling Julia, and his girlfriend Amy (American name) took us out to dinner this weekend to a hot pot restaurant. We communicated via Google translator, while cooking different meats and veggies in simmering broth that sat in the middle of our table. They were beyond generous and despite the language barrier, we had a great time.

Booking our first trip – One of the big reasons we are here is to take advantage of the travel opportunities so we are psyched for our first trip and escape from the city to Yangshuo (beautiful scenery with karst peaks and the Li River) come October. 

Mangoes – Our new obsession. They are so juicy, good and plentiful.

Much love.