Outside the bubble

So two months in and I’ve come to the conclusion that to accomplish certain tasks it’s best to psyche yourself up, just like you might before speaking in front of a crowd or taking the field for a big game. If you don’t adopt a “can do” attitude and also patience, not only will the task at hand be more challenging, but you might be tempted to throw in the towel. Here are a couple examples. 

Friends wanted to show us the fabric market, made up of a bunch of fabric shops with every kind of fabric you can imagine. You can have anything tailor made for you on the spot – clothing, blankets, curtains, etc. Seamstresses sit on their sewing machines outside their shops. We have a window seat in our bedroom that could use a cushion and I figured why not just get one made at the market? Easy enough, right? Well that was my first mistake, thinking it’d be that easy, but my second was not mentally preparing for what of course would be an involved undertaking. Communicating the fabric size needed and the type of stuffing/cushion, how I wanted it sewed, finding a seamstress who would do it quickly and who also had the patience to go back and forth on a translator, quickly became frustrating tasks. I bought fabric, and then after a couple interactions I jumped ship. I didn’t have the energy or the mindset to get it done. 

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Here’s the triumphant example. Julia’s school told us she needed to get a physical exam, as is required of all their students. UGH. I put it off for a few days, to build some mental stamina, and asked another mom how the experience went for her and if she had any tips. So armed with at least a rough idea of what to expect and the right frame of mind, we went on our way. I was determined to get it done, knowing that it would not go exactly as planned, it would take a long time and well, it would kind of suck. It was all of those things. It took over 3.5 hours, the process was confusing, there were multiple trips up and down 4 floors with elevator lines too long to bother with, a misunderstanding when a nurse insisted we missed a step, all in a very crowded children’s hospital that didn’t have the white washed walls and sterile feel I’m used to, where no one spoke English. But the point is, we did it!

This notable hospital experience reminded me of the best piece of advice we got before moving here from a fellow Vermonter turned expat in China, which was to have an open mind. The best piece of advice I’ve gotten since coming is to embrace life here. It’s possible to live in a bubble, and go to Western stores, seek out Western foods, and surround yourself with people also content to live in that bubble. It’s also easy to get annoyed, complain, and judge. Lack of understanding and fear of the unknown, in a place that’s so different and difficult to navigate, encourage isolation and can also fuel discontent. I’m certainly guilty of being aggravated nonstop some days. Like when I’ve had enough of the attention Julia is getting, when I cringe at the sound of someone spitting on the sidewalk or when I’m tempted to yell at a crazy scooter driver. (Yes, I’m ashamed to admit that visibly bitter foreigner making her way hastily down the street still surfaces on occasion.) There are plenty of things I dislike about life here, and of course we get our Western fixes on a weekly basis, but on the flip side there are things I do like, one of the biggest being the chance to experience this fascinating place, learn and at least attempt to gain a better understanding of the culture.

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We experienced our first national holiday with the Mid-Autumn festival a week ago. It’s a harvest festival celebrated during the full moon, and a time when families come together to eat and celebrate. Julia is pictured above playing Bo Bing a dice game with prizes that’s popular in Xiamen – even a lot of the stores and cafes have sets for customers to play. She’s also making mooncakes for the holiday with her classmates. They are round pastries filled with lotus seed pasted or bean paste. The next holiday is National Day Golden Week, the first week in October.

Gabe was popular with the neighborhood kids, blowing bubbles after work one night. You’ll notice Julia couldn’t be bothered. In reality, she was likely beelining it for the little kid ride thing she’s mildly obsessed with. The area around our building is buzzing with people and families at night. Kids on bikes and people shopping. Children go to bed late here. 

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We went out for “Chinese BBQ” pictured on the right. It was a random assortment of meats and vegetables on skewers. The round thing is lotus root, which is very popular here. This was also one of the few times we’ve had local seafood. I could have done without the BBQ, but the clams and shrimp were really good.

A local neighborhood alleyway with food stands and a couple shops crammed with random stuff (all made in China of course). Many kids and their parents were walking home from an elementary school nearby. 

A view of our “neighborhood” from the other side of Yundang Lake during a weekend jog. Our building is in front of the golf ball looking weather tower.

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Cat street in the Shapowei Art District. An area that had been our list explore. It’s a funky area, with a questionable cat cafe, close to Xiamen University, a famous university and one of the best in the country. Also found an actual brewery nearby. The beer didn’t compare to Vermont’s finest, but it was decent.

Here’s a shot of Bangkok. Gabe was there for a training this weekend.

And here is Julia being silly Julia.